Hope & I [Dusty Floor]

hope and i are dear friends
faith and i, we made amends
grace and i, we meet from time to time to explore the depths
patience sits beside, reminds me that there really is no end
i just can’t remember where i start, & where you begin

see i’m not the kind of bird that’s got some broken down wings
i’m not the sort of girl that doesn’t know how to fix things
but there’s a part of me that wants to get ahold of you
a fleeting moment, our lives done changed … i know we are not through

this is not normal. i do not do this.
but something shone through your eyes that i cannot just dismiss.
see i know i lost my marbles, but i could’a sworn your gun was loaded
i saw myself in its reflection, and i kept that duly noted.

i know you meant one thing by that. but i’m talking the bullets of your words.
straight from your heart and fingers, vocalizing your soul to the world.
i am not just a woman. you are not just a man.
and yeah i know i want things that i do not quite yet understand.

and so I tend to sing in metaphor, I don’t often speak directly.
but you can’t look at a girl like that and expect her not to think of you fondly.
Now I lay flat upon a dusty floor where we stood.
I told myself not to say these things, but I know in my heart, I really should ’cause

hope and i are dear friends
faith and i, we made amends
grace and i, go dancing all along the mountainsides.
sometimes late at night when i see some fire light, it’s true
i remember things i felt before…
i think of you.

see i’m not too proud to say that somedays i’m not a saint
more like a sailor, cursing the odds that we can’t just be what we ain’t
but i think of how things, are so much better than they could’ve been
and so i praise the days i still get to say “i love you” to my friends

i recall your obsidian eyes, looking straight into mine when
you sang to me, you sang to me that my eyes they shine real bright.
yeah you & i were born right on down by the riverside.
that’s where i’ll be, barefoot and smiling if you need a little light…’cause

hope and i are dear friends
faith and i, we made amends
grace and i, we learn again not to break when we can bend.
patience sits beside, reminds me that there really is no end
i just can’t remember where i start, & where you begin.

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Clay

Time to stop censoring my heart
’cause through He comes It, and from It comes Art.
Time to start sensitizing my heart
to subtle shifts, ridges & cliffs, ‘stead of just fissures when it all cracks apart.

Like clay, I take time to mold. I take time to condition internally.
I’m just about ready to be thrown in the fire. Fuse me. Forge me.

Bring it together. Bring it with honor.
Bring it back to the ways of Grandfather.

Closer to self. Closer to all else.
Close to clearing the dust off my shelves.

Heart in hand.
Tail by tale.
Not separate, but equal,
We Unify on the Trail.

Be. New.

As my hands grow calloused, my heart softens.
Choking up thinking about how i don’t do this often.
Or when i think of children and into what they’ll blossom…
I’m just full of awe, and it feels awesome.
I see faces in the trees silhouetted by the moon.
I see myself in others when I open and commune.
I hear an ache in my heart beating to Your tune.
I feel whispers from the future saying the past will come soon
So,
seize the moment, the day.
Seize the life. Find the clues.
Be bold. Be selfless.
Be everlasting. Be new.

everlasting light…

(rap, written March 2015 to add to Black Keys “Everlasting Light” cover)

Everlasting light, everlasting love.
I want to be near you, to come see you just because.
I see you clearly, like I got different lenses on.
I see you shine bright even through the dusk, to dawn.

No filters on.
Keep it pure.
Keep it simple.
I look at you and now I am seeing triple.

Even on a cloudy day you come and take my breath away
but then you give it back even better than you found it. Hey,

I just wanna say, I love the way your Light shows.
It’s everlasting, I hope it always grows.

this is for you

DSCF5004  DSCF5003 as far as i know, i have not met you yet. but i want to let you know some things ’cause i don’t want to own regrets.

so this is for you, maybe you already know it. yeah, this is for Truth, arguably the best poet.

i wanna talk to you different than i talk to anybody else. to just be clean, no hiding, and to lay it all out.

i swear to God, i’m willing to stand face to face with you. heart to heart with You.
to start at the start with you. and not expect you to meet me where i want you to be.
to just be willing to walk the trail with me.
not saying we need to walk the same path or… stay in line
but to intertwine with the beauty we see in each other.
to push each other to be our best, with barefeet upon our mother.
eyes gently gazing up to sky father who holds the light
that shines so bright in your eyes where i feel honored
to feel connected. yeah i’m giving thanks for all the lessons that have been reflected.

and if i’m singing and you’re drawn to it, sing the harmony.
to the melody that has been a little too lonely
but hasn’t realized it ’cause it was too stubborn trying to prove it’s beautiful enough on its own.

i’m working to interpret my dreams, to kiss
the ones that feel too real to dismiss,
like the one where we met up in the age of an anchor,
or a silhouette in the background as i admire a toddler.
or the weasel who spoke english, or the black bear on my left.
or the early killer whale who reflected death.

what i’m saying is i know you in my dreams where we shape shift.
i’m ready to meet you in waking moments, ready to embrace & uplift.

you can look me in the eye, but what i need is for you to look me in the heart.

DSCF5005

The Possibility

Dec. 2014

my heart beats heavily
with the possibility of
syncing with another.
my body feels the gravity
’cause i’m starting to float
right alongside another…

you say i can call,
you say i can call you,
you say i can call you any time i want.
that scares me,
that excites me,
that enlivens me to keep on callin’ on you…

seem so familiar,
i can’t quite place it.
but i’m not concerned with categories & placements.
the estrangement
from who i used to be
has got me tracing lines from all the tracks and stories and…

all the what-if’s…

walk softly,
quietly upon the
trail to my heart.
i feel your traction.
it’s been building,
it’s been building from the start.

well I’m staying here in a bed
made for two.
it ain’t right,
no, it ain’t true.

i want you here.
i wanna feel your bones.
i want you here.
you feel like home.

so what do you say?
will you come be with me?
will you walk these heights?
will you sail these seas?

i hear the coast is clear,
so let’s go hide there.

i wanna feel all the
shades of every color
that you speak so fondly of.
i wanna feel…
i wanna feel…
all the shades of you.

crazy that we’ve only,
only ever been apart.
crazy this might turn into something
’cause you caught me off guard…

i keep this close to
my heart not neglectfully
spreading the words of our art.

my heart beats heavily
with the possibility of
harmonizing with yours.
kt pilot

influenced

i walk quietly, calmly through an airport.
music resounding in my ears.

i glance at strangers and realize that in the blink of an eye, we could be in love.
so what is stopping me from being in love, each and every moment?
today? — nothing.
even turbulence is a blessing.

the clouds form waves of their own, releasing pressure from the most high.
the sun shines brightly, warming me through the window.
striations in the clouds below.

this boat in the sky rocks side to side, up and down.
yet i’m smiling a little on the outside, warmly on the inside.
we are above most of the clouds.
we gain altitude.
i feel gratitude.